Homosexuality is Wrong (Even for Atheists)

My views on gay marriage changed quite a bit after a conversation with friends.

Prior to the conversation, i was slightly pro gay marriage. I thought that if two gay people wanted to marry in order to live happier lives, then they should be allowed to do so as long as they weren't infringing on the freedom/rights/happiness of others. I use to think that if the Christians were right, and God did exist, and the gays really were going to burn in hell, then that was all the more reason to allow gays to marry, so that at least they could be happy in their lifetime on earth before they suffer an eternity of hell.

But what i realized in my conversation with friends is that homosexuality is not natural. From my newly learned understanding of nature (lol), if two animals of the same gender mate, there will be no offspring. So it seems like even from an evolutionary standpoint, homosexuality isn't good for humanity.

I now think of homosexuality kind of like prostitution. They both stem from lust and if left unconstrained, they both can destroy society. Both are related to selfish desires. Both are kind of like a disease.

Ok, time for me to go watch porn.

25, Background

I was looking up some artist on wikipedia and it said he was born in 1988, age: 25. And I thought, man, 25, that seems like an appropriate age to be well-known and looked up on wikipedia for. Eighteen or ninteen seems a bit young, and anything older than 25 seemed slightly too old and late.

But it saddened me because, well, I'm 25. And I wish I had done more with my life. I wish I was famous, and looked up on Wikipedia for, and received glory from man for.

Ironically, the artist I was looking up was Andy Mineo, because he's featured in Lecrae's song, "Background". Guess what it's about:



Perhaps a more fitting song for me then is KB's "I can't play the Background":


Or perhaps not.

I have very narcissistic desires. How do I stop them? (I guess if I'm not a Christian, there's no real objective reason to stop them, as long as those internal desires don't flood out and make me a douche-bag on the outside as well?) It's so silly/foolish/immature that I want fame, yet I've done nothing to deserve it.

Iran has snowboarding??

i was shocked when i saw videos like this about iran:
 


 it looks pretty modern and developed. and iran has snowboarding! how can we possible bomb a country that has snowboarding... i guess maybe if doing so will help our economy. whatever, a war with another middle east country probably wouldn't affect the lives of 98% of americans, just like the last 2 wars didn't. even though a couple hundred thousand iraqi civilians died as a result. that's ok, because a single american life is much more valuable than any non-american life. woohoooo

romney paid less tax

percentage wise, than me or anyone that is facebook friends with me.
http://www.cnbc.com/id/49122140

no wonder he wants to lower taxes. he'd probably save himself another million dollars.
if i were him, i'd probably sure as hell want to lower taxes too.

and the romney's had a tax extension for the year of 2011 until now, so he paid taxes 5 months after most of the people in the country. umm, cool.

but as wikipedia says, the top 1% of americans still pay 37% of all the country's taxes.
is that fair?

whatever, i'm going to carl's jr for dinner.

things i heard from the democratic national convention that i liked

-the way you run a business and make it grow is you invest in R&D
-a country is a lot like a business and its R&D is its education, infrastructure, broadband internet, healthcare system, etc.
-Romney wants to cut all of those things, while the BRICS, and even Europe are investing more than us in those areas

-what the veteran said about how republicans are eager to send people to war, but stingy about helping out the veterans

what clinton said
-the republicans' plan just doesn't make sense. it defies arithmetic
-how can republicans promise they'll cut the debt when they want to cut more taxes but increase defense spending?
-that causes crazy cuts in everything else (infrastructure, education, social welfare, etc.)
-romney didn't defend his policies in his speech
-obamacare forced health insurance companies to put 85% of their spending to actually providing health to the people they claim to be insuring, instead of spending on higher paychecks and more advertising. 
(i realize squeezing health insurance companies will cause a lot of people in those industries to lose jobs. but maybe it has to get a little worse before it gets better? because if those health insurance companies get what they want, yes the thousands of people those health insurance companies employ will get to keep their jobs, but millions of others will get screwed - financially and bodily)

-Eisenhower, a republican, and a general at that, built up America's infrastructure

what some commentator on pbs said
-12 years before clinton went to president, republicans tripled the debt.
-clinton balanced the debt
-george w bush doubled the debt

if i got some of these facts wrong, who cares. i'm pretty set on who i'm voting for.
the DNC was for the most part logical and made sense.
i didn't listen to the RNC as much, but the main things i heard out of it was to choose respect not love, which confused the hell out of me, and their bashing of the "you didn't build that" quote they took out of context.


as long as obama doesn't become this guy
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2200802/Embattled-Hollande-defends-75-tax-rate-disillusioned-France.html?ito=feeds-newsxml


but to keep things in perspective, the top 1% of americans do pay 40% of all of the US's taxes. that doesn't seem so fair either, does it? if you busted your butt to become the 1%, you wouldn't to pay all that tax either... http://blogs.wsj.com/wealth/2011/09/26/why-the-rich-pay-40-of-taxes/

terrific article from GQ, about clubbing

"So that from our high-priced bottle-service real estate we still had the valuable sensation that we were at a place where the party, like the music (or the Ecstasy), would never, ever end, where more and more girls could be fed in from still more flights out of Kansas City and Sacramento and you could start to think that the you who has a job back in Pittsburgh or Irvine doesn't exist, and also that after this you'd better go find some coke or else deal with the reality that awaits you back in the rollaway suitcase in your hotel room. Or if you're the fourth-generation heir to a toothpaste fortune who doesn't have a job in Pittsburgh (and there are people who come here they can drop $500K in a night and not feel bad about it), that there's a world where no one has those jobs, that this is the one place built for you."

"All around us women were dancing on makeshift stages—tabletops, banquette benches, dancing plinths. There must have been a hundred of them, and all of them, like really all of them, were wearing virtually identical tiny dresses and platform shoes that used to be a kind of sartorial wink that meant: I get paid money to give blow jobs."

"We let Jessica pour rounds and rounds of drinks for these female Asian chem majors from Cal who kept waving and winking to their boyfriends who were railbirding it on the lower level of the dance floor, watching as their dates got their free drinks on."

"Going to a nightclub, like going on vacation, sometimes gives rise to this really stressful internal-feedback loop that initiates when some dark part of your brain transmits a pretty obvious question: "Am I having fun?" Then: "Is this fun? What about that?" Or, "Those people look like they're having fun—are they pretending like I am?" Or, "I should be having fun, but am I really? How about now? Or...now?" And then this other part of your brain says, "Shut up, this is your dedicated night for fun, you paid all this money for it, and if you're not having fun now, maybe you're not capable of fun, so please for the love of God just shut up." "Okay. Okay... But how about now?""

"Another way to deal with that anxiety, the balm Jason and Noah offer, is to make the customers believe they are at the party that other people wish they were at. Marquee must always feel like the place to be tonight. "We always have photographers on hand," Jason told me. "The key is to recap it the next day so we can be like, 'Look what you fucking missed.' "

http://www.gq.com/news-politics/mens-lives/201209/marquee-las-vegas-nightlife-gq-september-2012?currentPage=1

joy harjo and Ira Grass quotes

i heard the following interview of joy harjo on NPR the other day.

"Women often turn their anger inward, and at Indian school, some of us mutilated ourselves. I marked myself once, with a knife, I was disappearing into the adolescent sea of rage and destruction. The mark of pain assured me of my own reality. The cut could speak. It had a voice that cried out when I could not make a sound in my own defense."
"I never made such a mark again, instead I chose to slash art onto canvas, pencil marks onto paper, and when I could no longer carry the burden of history, I found other openings: I found stories."

hearing this increased my respect for writing, art, and poetry. cool

http://m.npr.org/story/156501436


“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.” -Ira Grass

"SO YOU STILL THINK GOD IS A MERCIFUL GOD?!" - not really?

this post bothers me:
http://aminiatureclaypot.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/so-you-still-think-god-is-a-merciful-god/

As a person who once thought he was a Christian, I've heard most of what she said before...

"In His sovereignty, God made man in His image with the ability to choose good and evil."
Christians keep saying God can't do evil. So why do we keep saying He made us in His image? Because we obviously can commit evil. damn poor copy.

"God did not take a gun and pull the trigger in a crowded theater. He didn’t even suggest it. A man did."
Well God sure allowed it. How come we can't blame God for this? God, the all powerful, all knowing, all present God, allowed this to happen. Joe Paterno lost his job because he allowed something wrong happen.
Also, before the creation of the universe/angels/all this other shit, there was only God and no evil. Then some time later, evil appeared. But God didn't create it?! Evil is the absence of God you say, just as darkness is the absence of light? Well then why the hell would God back off to allow evil to seep through?

I don't mean to personally attack or offend the author of that post, but would she have written the same thing if she or her daughters got shot? Would she continue to praise God if in a few days James Holmes repents and becomes a real, true, Biblical Christian who will go to heaven? or what if it turned out that she or her daughters who thought they were Christians were actually an example of Matthew 7:21-23:

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you;depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"

Newt Gingrich is a playa

Gingrich wants more religion in public life. He said, "In America, religious belief is being challenged by a cultural elite trying to create a secularized America, in which God is driven out of public life." (nytimes)

Hold on Gingrich, you believe America has become too secular and you want America to be more conservative? How the fuck can you ask for that when you've had 3 marriages and every divorce was due to the affair that caused the next marriage? That same nytimes article points out:

"He also acknowledged having an extramarital affair with Callista Bisek, then a House staff member, while leading impeachment proceedings against Mr. Clinton for lying about his own sexual transgressions."

I mean, even Hugh Hefner has only been married twice. (Hugh Hefner almost busted a Gingrich by almost marrying Crystal Harris. But that marriage was called off.) Gingrich would be the first twice divorced president. Me bashing on Gingrich basically makes me a player hater. My bad.

2012 elections

I wouldn't vote for Romney because he's Mormon.
I'm actually quite surprised that a Mormon might become president of the United States. This is a religion that up until 1978, banned black people from fully participating:

There is a reason why one man is born black and with other disadvantages, while another is born white with great advantage. The reason is that we[white people] once had an estate before we came here, and were obedient, more or less, to the laws that were given us there. Those who were faithful in all things there received greater blessings here, and those who were not faithful received less.... There were no neutrals in the war in heaven. All took sides either with Christ or with Satan. Every man had his agency there, and men receive rewards here based upon their actions there, just as they will receive rewards hereafter for deeds done in the body. The Negro, evidently, is receiving the reward he merits.

--Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, Vol.1, pages 66-67

 (source: http://mormonstories.org/top10toughissues/blacks.html)

and Joseph Smith Jr., the founder of the Mormon church said:

Had I anything to do with the negro, I would confine them by strict law to their own species

I mean, what the fuck was he thinking? Couldn't he foresee the civil rights movement, being a prophet and all? But back to the point, I'm surprised that America is so accepting of Mormonisn today. Missouri basically launched a war against LDS in 1838 :

...Violence broke out again at an election riot in 1838...When the Mormons attacked a duly authorized militia under the belief it was an anti-Mormon mob, Missouri’s governor, Lilburn Boggs, ordered the Saints expelled from the state, or “exterminated,” if necessary. (http://www.sos.mo.gov/archives/resources/mormon.asp)

and

Even after Mormons established a community hundreds of miles away in the Salt Lake Valley in 1847, anti-Mormon activists in Utah Territory convinced U.S. President James Buchanan that the Mormons in the territory were rebelling against the United States.... President Buchanan sent one-third of the American standing army in 1857 to Utah in what is known as the Utah War. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-Mormonism)

Mormonism believes in aliens from outer space, and that the ruler of our planet is God/Jesus. and if you're a good mormon, you'll get your own planet too and be God as well! yay! Mormon's believe that “As man now is, God once was: As God now is, man may be".(Lorenzo Snow)
(i read up on this from Wikipedia, the definitive authority on everything: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mormon_cosmology)

Also, I wouldn't vote for Santorum because he's Catholic. http://spreadingsantorum.com/

I also wouldn't vote for Gingrich, because he was married 3 times, and he's fat. (and according to wikipedia, there were "Eighty-four ethics charges were filed against Gingrich during his term as Speaker"? ) More info about Gingrich's fatness can be found here: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2011/12/is-new-gingrich-too-fat-to-be-president/.

If it's any of those 3 going against Obama, I'm voting for Obama for sure. Plus, I owe him one because I voted for Mccain in '08. (I know, the fuck was i thinking right?) To sum it up, i'm basically not voting for romney, santorum, or gingrich because they're mormon, catholic, fat.

At the end up of day, the above was just a rant against Mormonism. The Mormons and Catholics i know are some of the nicest, most diligent, respectful, tolerant, disciplined people i know. And the Romney's do not seem to be stereotypical of racism at all, in fact, i have to give props to the Romney family for their stance with the civil rights movement: http://americanlp.org/2012/02/22/mitt-romney-mormon-exclusion-of-blacks/ 

(but i'm sorry, the guy is still a mormon, and i gotta say, mormonism is pretty fucking weird. but then again, all religions are weird)

UPDATE:
shit, Gingrich is also catholic, definitely not voting for him

religious description of myself

Perhaps I am like the person described here:

"…right now God restrains the madness of man, but once the restraint is taken off in hell itself, what torture must it be to stand upon the parapets of hell screaming your hatred of God for eternity, knowing there is nothing you can do any longer, to in any way hurt God or his creation.  People say “we are going to be partying in hell”.  No. You are going to be alone.  Alone with your hatred and self destruction.
You don’t stop sinning.  That’s why the punishment doesn’t stop.  And I am convinced that if you were to reach into the pit of hell, 10,000 years into eternity, grab a smoking soul, bring it out and sit it down, and say “Here’s your choice: either love the Lord your God with your heart, soul, mind and strength and  worship Him in purity or turn around and walk right back in to where you are” every single one would turn around, spit at you and dive right back into where they were."

Or perhaps I am like Pharoh, who was raised up by God just so God could display His glory by destroying him.

Or I am like Job, but without repentance. 
Or I am like the third servant who will experience weeping and gnashing of teeth as described in Matthew 25:14-30:

 24 “And the one also who had received the one talent came up and said, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow and gathering where you scattered no seed. 25 And I was afraid, and went away and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours.’   26 “But his master answered and said to him, ‘You wicked, lazy slave, you knew that I reap where I did not sow and gather where I scattered no seed. 27 Then you ought to have put my money [d]in the bank, and on my arrival I would have received my money back with interest. 28 Therefore take away the talent from him, and give it to the one who has the ten talents.’   29 “For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away. 30 Throw out the worthless slave into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Or I am like the guest without wedding clothes in Matthew 22:

 1 Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying, 2 “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son. 3 And he sent out his slaves to call those who had been invited to the wedding feast, and they were unwilling to come. 4 Again he sent out other slaves saying, ‘Tell those who have been invited, “Behold, I have prepared my dinner; my oxen and my fattened livestock are all butchered and everything is ready; come to the wedding feast.”’ 5 But they paid no attention and went their way, one to his own farm, another to his business, 6 and the rest seized his slaves and mistreated them and killed them. 7 But the king was enraged, and he sent his armies and destroyed those murderers and set their city on fire. 8 Then he *said to his slaves, ‘The wedding is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy. 9 Go therefore to the main highways, and as many as you find there, invite to the wedding feast.’ 10 Those slaves went out into the streets and gathered together all they found, both evil and good; and the wedding hall was filled with dinner guests.
   11 “But when the king came in to look over the dinner guests, he saw a man there who was not dressed in wedding clothes, 12 and he *said to him, ‘Friend, how did you come in here without wedding clothes?’ And the man was speechless. 13 Then the king said to the servants, ‘Bind him hand and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ 14 For many are called, but few are chosen.”

man of my word?

“…knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint…”

paul said this in romans 5:3. even though a Christian isn’t something i call myself to be. it’s still a good quote

我恨我自己

“you know i know how…the club can’t even handle me right now…”

been stuck in my head all day. the song reminds me shanghai summer of 2010. world expo. i was studying abroad. clubbing everynight, no matter what night. then ace my test the next morning.

fine, here's the video:

You know i know how
The Club Can’t handle me right now
To make em stop and stare as i zone out
The club can’t even handle me right now
Watchin you im watchin you we go all out
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)

Flo rida 1st Verse:

Hey
I own the light and i dont need no help
Gotta be the feeling that scarface player
Stuntin go wild cant handle this plan
Life of the club arrogant like yeah!
Top like money all the girls just melt
Want to many all know me like Twelve
Look like cash and they all just stare
Bottles, Models, standin on chairs
Fall out coz thats the business
All out its so ridiclous
Zone out so much attention
Scream out im in the building (hey!)
They watchin i know this
Im rockin im rolling
Im holding, I know it
You know it

You know i know how
To make em stop and stare as i zone outt
The club can’t even handle me right now
Watchin you im watchin you we go all outt
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)

Flo Rida 2nd Verse:

Hey
Still feelin myself im like outta control
Cant stop now more shots lets go
Ten more rounds can i get a Kato
Paparazzi trying to make me pose
Came to party to i came no more
Celebrate coz thats all i know
Tip the groupies takin off their clothes
Grand finale’ like superbowl
Go hard run the show
Thats right wild out got money to blow
More light more ice when i walk in the door
No hype i do it big all over the globe
Yeah!
I said it
Go tell it
Confetti
Who ready?
Im ready!
You ready!
Lets get it!

You know i know how
To make em stop and stare as i zone out
The club can’t even handle me right now
Watchin you watchin me we go all out
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
(put your hands up!)
http://www.elyricsworld.com/club_can't_handle_me_lyrics_flo_rida.html
(put your hands up!)
(put your hands up!)
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
(put your hands up!)
(put your hands up!)
(put your hands up!)

Verse 3:

You got me watchin now (hey)
Got my attention now (hey)
Got everybody in the club wanting to know now
I am a ladies man
Come and be my lady and..
We can ball, soo, ahhhhhh
Bring ya body here let me switch up the atmosphere
Take you up out of this club and in my new limo
Fly you all around the world
What you want baby girl
Are you ready to go now!

You know i know how
To make em stop and stare as i zone outt
The club can’t even handle me right now
Watchin you watchin me we go all outt
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
(put your hands up!)
(put your hands up!)
(put your hands up!)
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
(put your hands up!)
Lets celebrate now
(put your hands up!)
You know who shut it down!

but totally unrelated:


i hate how i argue with my parents. i’m able to say the most wickedest, hurtful things that i know will claw at my parents heart and make them cry. and after i say them i regret it so much. but yet i’m still too prideful and filled with darkness to humbly apologize to them, because i’ve done so so many times before. and then the more my parents nag and beg me to do something that i know will ultimately be for my own good, the more i oppose them and say hurtful things. things about the past or things that are totally unrelated to the subject - i bring em up just to hurt my parents. for example today, i said earlier i’d take the bus. but then the time neared and my dad and i both knew i was gonna be late. he then said he’d give me a ride. i was adamant and said i’d rather be late with the bus than take a ride from him (because i know he wanted so much for me to be on time). i walked to the bus stop, and i was really gonna be late. my dad called, asked if i was on the bus, and then he started begging me to get in the car when he comes to pick me up to give me a ride. i kept saying i won’t. he wasn’t even mad or angry, he was just pleading me. and i kept refusing. 10 min later, i stopped refusing because i even got worried that i was gonna be late. but i was still too prideful to agree for him to pick me up. i just stopped refusing, and he knew that was enough. he drove to me, and i got in the car. and then the whole way, i still didn’t apologize. he apologized to me… it was like he was kneeling in front of me watching me shoot myself up with heroine, begging me to stop, and i kept laughing at him.

what fucked up son does that? i do.
why? when will i change?