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my current state of life feels like bon iver Holocene's melody. broken, sad, and angry.
fucked up beyond all recognition and lacking the will power to pick myself up. because if i do, it's just gonna be fake. it's just gonna break again

i covet so much. and i become so disappointed with myself
i so wish i was smarter, younger, taller, richer

i've been spending around 20 hours a week doing homework for this one class that others have told me should take about 5 to 6 hours a week.

i quit trying to be an engineer. i can't do this anymore. it's too fucking hard.
i can't compete anymore. i'm too tired.