Monday, February 8, 2016

Levels of small talk and deep conversations

I've noticed there are the following types of small talk and conversations. From easiest to hardest to do. It's hard because it's most likely to offend the person you're talking to and most likely for it to cause you to lose a friend, but also most likely to deepen a friendship.

1) Third person - Talking about others
There are three categories to this:
-People - e.g. the Kardashians
-Events - e.g. US Invasion of Iraq
-Ideas - e.g. Christianity vs Islam

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-this-quote-mean-Great-minds-discuss-ideas-Average-minds-discuss-events-Small-minds-discuss-people

2) First person - Talking about me, and my values
E.g. About my porn addiction, about what I want out of a relationship, about what I want in the future

3) Second person - Talking about my feelings towards you
E.g My feelings about your porn addiction and why it bothers me, about what I want from you out of our relationship

Good article about skipping the small talk:
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/17/fashion/dating-the-end-of-small-talk.html?_r=0

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