I looked at the jump as I was sliding towards it.
And thought, "it's not worth it."
I feared it. I didn't want to get hurt and break a wrist.
"It's not worth it."
Immediately after I said that to myself, another voice asked:
Is this what it feels like to get old?
To not be excited about the things that used to excite me?
To not task risks that I would have taken before?
To not crave that adrenaline?
What will this mean in terms of creating a startup? Would it relate?
Is that why some crazy amazingly successful startups are started by people in their 20s, because people in their 20s are too young, in-experienced, cocky, and foolish to know what's impossible, so they attempt it... and succeed?
I hope that I will still chase the impossible.
Luckily, a few hundred yards down the mountain, I found a box, tried to ride it, ate shit really hard, and told myself I'm done with boxes for today, maybe forever. And then on the next run. I rode the box again. And again, and again, I rode that dumbass box 8 more times that day, falling 6 of the 8 times. Success, even if trivial success from hobbies, still felt good.
Maybe those small failures over trying to ride down a slippery ass, icy, hard plastic and metal box are not forecasts of my ability to take risks and overcome adversity in my career and life. Or maybe they are. Maybe the ability to take risks and overcome adversity is like a muscle. And pushing myself out of my comfort zone works that muscle- from snowboarding boxes and jumps that scare me, to paddling for waves that will pound my ass into the sea floor if I'm a second late on the takeoff, to cold showers that make me scream like a banshee when I first jump in.... to quitting my comfortable day-job in exchange for days and nights stayed-up working on my own project, to registering a company, to taking out a loan... to going to vegas with the last few dollars in your company's bank account and gambling with it to turn it into payroll for your employees so your company can last just a few more weeks... and turn into the Fedex it is today?
One tip I heard was that while on a box, look at the end of the box where you'll ride/jump off. That'll get you through it.